I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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