I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
