I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
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