youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
