I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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