All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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