It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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