I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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