remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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