Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
