we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
