i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize