is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
