is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize