your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
