You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
