Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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