My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
