She is in my trunk
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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