wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
