): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize