I looked at my own cervix.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
