Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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