The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
