All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
FUCK WHALES
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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