The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
