You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We were destined to go to rehab together
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
