this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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