Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
