So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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