my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
this is an emotional support booty call
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
