He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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