i think i have two assholes
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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