i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
