My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
