It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
