that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
