I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
