It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
