I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
