covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
