Kareoke will never be a sober sport
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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