no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
