If i come over, it means nothing
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
