we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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