You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
