What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
