You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
