Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
