As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
