And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
