Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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