You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Randomize
