My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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