I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize