White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
