At least make sure they are 18
Why
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
