the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize