i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
