Me too!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
