Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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