I need to stop coming to work sober
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
