I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
