this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
