508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize