Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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